Entrant's Name
Crystal

City and State
Lincoln, NE

Your Pet's Story or Bio
Name: Guinness (a.k.a. Sir Drools-a-Lot, The Gentle Giant, Fluffy Overlord)
Age: Almost 2 years
Breed: Newfoundland

About Guinness:

Meet Guinness—a 130-pound gravitational force of fur, love, and deeply unfiltered snoring. At just two years old, Guinness has already established himself as a professional floor rug impersonator, part-time sock thief, and full-time personal space invader.

Guinness lives life at two speeds: slow…and slower. He enjoys short walks to the food bowl, staring dramatically into the distance like he’s in a dog food commercial, and collapsing in doorways like a living speed bump.

His passions include:

Wetting every surface with his beard

Collecting leaves, twigs, and occasionally small branches in his tail floof

Pretending not to understand the word “off”

Blocking the refrigerator with his majestic bulk


Guinness is convinced he's a lap dog, and will prove it by attempting to sit on you with the grace of a falling tree. His tail has the destructive force of a medieval weapon, and his drool is legally classified as both a liquid and a solid.

His dislikes are few: vacuums, closed doors, and being told he can’t bring a 4-foot stick into the house. He meets all of life’s challenges with the calm confidence of a dog who once got stuck in a laundry basket and simply accepted his fate.

As he enters his third year of glorious existence, Guinness has a few key goals:

Master the subtle art of catching treats without getting distracted halfway

Improve his selective hearing ("come" is currently negotiable)

Finally defeat the mysterious and evil doorbell