My dog is the coolest because...
Bernard is brilliant—a straight-A student in obedience class until the bell rings or the treats disappear, whichever betrays him first. He adores all humans without exception, but considers squirrels and bunnies a personal insult.

He’s a big fan of trips to the 5th Ward and Jazz festivals, where he graciously allows people to admire him. He loves long hikes, medium runs, and very limited interaction with his roommate dog, Vincent.

Bernard loves absolutely everything—as long as he’s in charge.

He hates suitcases. Passionately. Because they mean he may have to be alone with Vincent.