Miss Kitty

Write a brief bio of your pet. (favorite things, their backstory, personality traits, etc.)
The thug life didn’t choose Miss Kitty, Miss Kitty chose the thug life. Miss Kitty is a 15-year-old Manx cat. Lots of tortitude. No tail. All confidence. Last name: Kitty. First name: ? She’s a lady of many secrets and insists on being called by her proper title. She’s on a first name basis with no one. She’s afraid of nothing.

Miss Kitty claimed her owners by one day walking into their house unprompted and making herself comfortable. Her best friends are an opossum and two raccoons, but she doesn’t like her cat sisters because they’re annoying toddlers. She absolutely loves her dad and enjoys taking naps on his lap when it’s inconvenient.

How would your pet spend the day if they could plan an afternoon of fun?
Miss Kitty would spend the day enjoying the great outdoors. She would hunt chipmunks, climb some trees, and roll around in the dirt. She would explore the neighborhood and say hi to all her human friends (she’s a celebrity).

After her adventure, she would eat a whole can of wet food with gravy for dinner topped with rotisserie chicken. Then, she’d take a nap in her cushy bed while her cat sisters were sequestered to another room so they couldn’t bother her. After her nap, she would move to the big human bed and snuggle up with her dad for a restful night of spooning.

What would your pet's favorite beer (or other beverage) be?
Whiskey. Neat.