Matthew Billitti
Tired of endless debates and politicians barking up the wrong tree? Vote for Dexter! His platform is simple yet profound: more belly rubs for everyone, mandatory squirrel-chasing breaks for all government employees, and a national initiative to ensure every park has at least three perfectly bouncy tennis balls. He's also pledged to sniff out corruption with unparalleled precision (he did find that rogue sock under the sofa, after all). Plus, his cabinet meetings would involve enthusiastic tail wags and probably a lot of slobbery kisses – a far more charming approach than most human politicians. With Dexter, you're not just voting for a leader; you're voting for pure, unadulterated joy.