Marge “Ann Margret”

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First of all, Marge (Ann Margret) is one hot, smoky little piece of French bulldog booty, and frankly, if she had the dexterity, I’m positive she could slide down a fire pole. She absolutely loves a man in uniform and has never met a firefighter she wouldn’t flirt with.

I adopted Marge from an LA farmers market LAAR rescue during a time in my life when emotionally, physically, and spiritually, we truly saved each other. She had been surrendered after being used for breeding and then discarded when her puppies weren’t considered “purebred enough.” The day after I adopted her, we discovered she had a mast cell tumor growing on her back. Thankfully it was removed successfully, and that second chance at life somehow transformed her into the sassiest biatch on the block for four fabulous years and counting.

Her preferred hobbies include farting, aggressively demanding cuddles, stealing attention from anyone speaking to me, snoring like a retired truck driver, and acting like she personally pays the mortgage. She is loving, hilarious, deeply healing, jealous of any man giving me attention, and smells vaguely like the morning doodoo. Honestly, she has mastered every single love language: physical touch through aggressive snuggling, quality time through refusing to let me go to the bathroom alone, acts of service by emotionally supporting everyone she meets, gift giving in the form of random sticks and half-chewed toys, and words of affirmation because she will literally scream if she feels underappreciated.

And while gas prices in Los Angeles continue trying to ruin all of our lives, Marge’s personal methane contributions are honestly the only thing keeping our Mini Cooper moving these days. Without her, our morning commute would neither smell as memorable nor feel nearly as affordable.

What makes Margaret special is that underneath all the diva behavior, she is genuinely one of the sweetest, most intuitive little souls ever. She loves visiting literally anyone with a pulse because she instinctively knows exactly how to comfort people. She immediately curls up in your lap, presses her head into your chest, and stays there like a weighted emotional support meatball for as long as needed. She is the best cuddler on earth and somehow makes every person feel like they are her favorite person in the world.

Well… almost everyone. Her actual favorite people are my boyfriend and my nephew, who absolutely adores her. I’m pretty sure he learned Margaret’s name before he fully learned mine, and honestly, I respect it. The second she walks into a room, he lights up. Their bond is ridiculous, pure, and one of my favorite things to watch.

Margaret is resilient, hilarious, healing, needy, dramatic, loyal, deeply affectionate, and impossible not to love. She has survived abandonment, cancer, and several humiliating waterboarding baths. She represents rescue dogs in the best possible way — proof that sometimes the dogs we save are actually the ones saving us.

Owner:
Melanie