My dog is the coolest because...
Rumor grew of a shadow in the Bay of Green, whispers of a nameless low rider, and a young woman had perceived her time to get a new puppy had come. She abandoned loneliness, but then something happened that the woman did not intend. She was picked by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a corgi, Mumen Lowrider, of the Bay of Green.

For the time will soon come when corgis will shape the fortunes of all.

(On the extremely rare chance we win, 10/10 naming that beer 'Mumen On Up to the Yeast Side'.)